Children rely on the cues they get from their parents, so mothers and fathers who feel jittery about war with Iraq should confront their own fears and get ready to talk with their children, said Aaron Ebata, family life expert at the UI.
UI Extension is hosting a Web site to assist parents in talking with their children about war. The site also offers a list of resources for parents and those who work around children.
According to Ebata, parents should limit young children’s exposure to war footage on television and act as a filter for the information children receive. But once children are in school, parents can’t control what kids are hearing anymore. Parents should be prepared to talk about the war.
As children get older, those talks become even more important. Silence can magnify the fears kids are feeling. It also becomes important to grapple with the fact that people have different feelings about the war, Ebata said.
Older children may crave more information about the situation – as many adults do – to give them a sense of control over the situation. If it helps them to have this information, parents should let them have it.
Other children may benefit more from “doing something.” They may want to write letters to a soldier or help out in the community.
No matter how well children seem to be coping, they still need to know that their parents stand between them and the rest of the world.
“Reassure your children that, in any emergency, you will help them. Make sure they know you’re going to do your best to take care of them,” he said.
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